In a mission to find myself

In a mission to find myself

Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Happiness is not a destination, it’s the journey.

Happiness is not a destination, it’s the journey.

We’re taught to work having a destination in mind. A child who enters a school is always reminded to score well in exams to secure a good placement for high school. During high school, all the kid has got to do is to prepare well and place him/her in a competitively stable position to enter a reputed university. Over there, the struggle continues to strive well in order to secure a good job. Well, when it is essentially important to do well in whatever you do and planning ahead is inarguably vital, what most of us are missing out is living in the moment because we are busy chasing for something. One after another. 

The milestones that we set, are worth all the grind that it demands, but sadly, it sucks the soul out of us while we are busy running after the so-called “successes”. Honestly, I think that the definition of success is largely misunderstood. Let me give you a simple example, all of us look out for a major festival in a calendar year. Deepavali for me, as me being a Hindu. It holds great excitement for each individual across religion and beliefs, but have you realised the few weeks before Deepavali is actually where the fun lies? The preparations, shopping, cookies making, decorations, sneaking in to satisfy our taste buds with cookies fresh from the oven, (the caroline for the Christians) are the ones that usher in the festive vibes. Even the excitement takes a great dip on the festive day. So this well justifies the title, happiness is not the destination (Deepavali) but it’s the JOURNEY (the tiring process of changing the house curtains. LOL).

We tend not to appreciate what we have until we have lost it. Moments, celebrations and joy are the simple examples of such. Many of us do not pause to reflect, what more to celebrate the little things in life because we have been greatly motivated to run behind the moon where the stars do not matter at all. During our university life, the only thing we had in our mind is to finish school and get out with a scroll, but now if you ask me (out of school for almost 1.5 years), I would trade anything that I possess just to relive the best days of my life – the University chapter. 

Have you heard of the post-olympic syndrome? Recently, I came across this article which talks on the blues that the athletes go through post Olympics. They have endured years of devotion, gruelling trainings keeping only one thing in mind, the GOLD. Even biopics end there, but what happens after the games? Athletes go through some serious emotional turbulence, taking a turmoil in day to day life as they feel, as they have lost their purpose of life. It takes some time for them to get back on track and understand that life isn’t always about winning the gold, but what takes you to the goal. Fun fact: there is also something called postnuptial depression which takes on the post marital syndrome. You might want to check it out.  

All these stuffs, talk on failure of focusing too much on the end goal, but neglecting the little pieces that makes up to it.So, whatever situation that you are in, whatever circumstances that you have put into, it is very important to have micro level understanding of the situation and make the best out of it rather than to always having a big picture in life, while the small things slip away without us realizing that those little things are the ones that matter.

Little things matter, when they matter, they aren’t little anymore.

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Fried Rice

A Chinese style fried rice and a burrito was the take away order that got delivered few minutes ago. As I kept the food on the dining table and turned to the kitchen counter, I heard the door knob was struggled to open and there she was back home. Back home after the grueling 18 hours of on-call. Although the previous night’s heated argument is reflecting clearly on the exhausted face, I can sense that she was tired, even to fight again. Despite this not being the usual routine, somewhere I felt that she would love to have her favorite Chinese style fried rice after the long working hours. Maybe, just maybe it would also cool her down and of course ends the ugly fight we had. She kept her bag on the sofa and pinned up the wavy hairs of hers to what I call a Kung Fu bun. Messier than ever. She was extremely hungry, I suppose as she rushed to open the packet of fried rice sensing that it was for her smelling the very familiar smell of the food. Just as I thought, she Is toned down a little, she took the packet of fried rice with a spoon and moved away from the dining table to the living to have her meal on the sofa. Bloody hell. I bought her food, not even a “Thank you”. Never mind. As she tuned to a sports channel on the TV, she was already spooning herself quicker than anything. The poor me sat all alone in the dining table that accommodates six at maximum cost. I unwrapped my burrito hearing the loud commentary from ESPN sports channel. Through the slight openings of the slides, she saw that I was about to dine all alone and decided to join me instead. Probably she didn’t notice that there was a burrito that I bought for myself when she was grabbing her fried rice. Although I almost chuckled when she pulled her chair on the dining, I quickly kept a poker face to avoid making things worse. We ate in complete silence while regularly catching each other looking at one another. Somehow, I can sense from her body language that she’s calmed down and ready for a white flag. But I wasn’t in a situation to afford any risk. So, I pretended as if I’m concentrating only on my burrito. She had her last spoon of the white fried rice and half-burped, and then she spoke for the first time, “Save the last bite of the burrito for your wife”.  Ufff.. Thank you, fried rice!

Thursday, 13 April 2017


Sometime ago, I did (out of sheer excitement and interest) started a page for scribblers to express short stories in less than 5 lines. Owing to my commitments and busy schedule, I failed to manage the page properly and decided to take it down instead because a page without regular updates isn't a good one. But, I would like to use this space to post the lovely thoughts, which are also contributed by some great minds. Thank you for all the contributions. Drop  your comments on your favorites. And you may also comment your own story. :)

Saturday, 18 March 2017

Decoding the Master Mani Ratnam - Part 1

Given any listing of Indian movie directors, the one name that tops the list no matter what, is the maverick, Mani Ratnam. The perfect example of the saying “Quality over quanity”, Ratnam has only directed close to 25 movies in a career spanning up to 34 years. A gem of a director who has a great celluloid vision, has been the point of adulation for many film enthusiast because of his subtle human emotions portrayal like no other. With Mouna Ragam, Alaipayuthey and OK Kanmani (to name a few), even the new age directors have taken back seat when it comes to scripting a contemporary love story which is close to reality. Mani Ratnam is undeniably one director who inches you closer to the silver screen, reducing the distance the cinema often creates due to its magnanimity and extravagance. It is easy (the least to say) that you can be Aadhi (Dulquer from OK Kanmani) or Shakthi (Shalini from Alaipayuthey) battling out to balance emotions in daily lives.

Dialogue pick #1 : “Enaku vendiyavange en vaalkaile 10 peru than. Athuleyum ivengulukku-kaage avengelu vidanum na,epdi?” – Alaipayuthey

Being a perfectionist in the professional upfront, Ratnam takes ample time to make movies which is obviously a not pleasing fact for a fan like me, but a flawless product at the end of the day, definitely makes the wait worthy. One small fact that could exhibit his excellence of continuity is that for all the three films that Ratnam has collaborated with Aishwarya Rai, he only chose Rohini to voice for the Tamil character of Rai. From Iruvar, to Guru, to Raavanan, although the first and the last films are 13 years apart, Ratnam stayed with his maiden choice.

Mani Ratnam shines as a filmmaker as he has worked with the top actors in the industry. Kamal Hassan’s cult ‘Nayagan’, Rajni’s Thalapathi, Shah Rukh Khan’s Dil Se, has been regarded as the respective actors prime performances films as Ratnam’s filmmaking outshines their stardom and fit them beyond their cinema image to breathe and live as Velu Nayakar, Suriya or Amarkant Varma. 


Dialogue pick #2:“Kashdam than.. Aana kaalele eluntirchi udane.. Ganapathiiiiii nu ave kupdhum bothu ella maranthurum” – OK Kanmani

Mani Ratnam prefers to have his male leads to sport a fresh and clean look and with that moustache is a big N0-No! Example : Velu Naikar during his younger days, Anandan and Tamizhselvan during their younger days in Iruvar, Karthik from Alaipayuthey, Michael from Aayutha Ezhuthu, Dev from Raavanan, the flashback Arjun in Kadal and now Karthi from Kaatru Veliyidai.

The constant elements in Ratnams’ films are very significant yet engaging. The repetitive elements don’t bore you but elevates to a new dimension in distinct portrayals in each film. Many would consider that short, direct dialogues are Ratnam’s trademark, but apart from that, there are many more elements that been a constant in his films.

Mirror shots. 

A coupled approach from the director and the cinematographer, I suppose. Many scenes from his movies have been shot using mirror as a third character between the conversations of two actors. Call it technical brilliance or perfect utilization of props, mirrors have not been in the limelight anywhere else more than Ratnam’s film.

 The scene in Iruvar where Mohanlal reveals to Aishwarya on her soft spot that she has earned was actually due to the facial features that she shares with his first wife. The tight shot was a “close up” of Mohanlal, but without any cuts, the scene fluids through both Lal’s and Rai’s reactions just by utilizing a mirror. Genius.

The mirror shots carried varies of emotion in Alaipayuthey. 

Even in the climax of OK Kanmani where Dulquer confesses his idea of getting married to Nithya, the whole conversation was shot against a mirror. Pucca. 


The lead to Kalvare song in Raavanan was the only scene where it registers the bond and intimacy Dev and Raagini shares and this justifies his pursue for his missing wife.

Train.There is no movie of his without even a single shot of a train.

OK Kanmani – The leads were introduced in a train station.

Alaipayuthey – The epic proposal of Madhavan was at a train backdrop.

Aayutha Ezhuthu – The love episode of Suriya and Esha Deol was revealed in a train.

Guru – Abhishek meets Aishwarya in a train

Thalapathi – the young Rajni was disposed in a train.

Iruvar- Prakash Raj involves in a protest and offers himself at the railway track when it get intense. Introductory scene of Tabu

Raavanan – Pritviraj arrives to the new town in train with wife, Aishwarya.

Mouna Ragam – The climax. Mohan finds for Revathi while she boards a train. 

Thiruda Thiruda - The robbery, abscond of the two thieves and the runaway bride, and introduction of Chandralekha (Anu Agarwal)

Dialogue pick #3:“Madhi kidha? Madhi kidhen” – OK Kanmani

Mani Ratnam is a University himself shall  not be confined to a single post. Look out for the  succeeding posts as we will cover more on his collaboration with cinematographers, the music element in his films and the lyrics of course. 

Sunday, 5 March 2017

5 Things I Wouldn't Want to Deal with If I was a Woman

In conjunction of the upcoming International Women’s Day, I think this would be a timely post to take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate the well being of the important women in our lives. Not a feminist, nor a chauvinist, but I think Womanhood is worth to be celebrated and one can’t deny the powerful contribution of women in men’s life. Thank you Amma, Appatha, Sister, Aunts and all my friends who showed me the reasons to celebrate womanhood.

So, 5 things I Wouldn't want to deal with If I was a Woman

The monthly cycle
This tops the list. The cramps, mood swings, and hormonal imbalance are such a pain both physically and mentally. Although the testosterones kicking in to say that, men are equally affected by the month-saries by the terrible mood swings of the ladies, but it’s them (women) who go through more and owing to their daily routines and commitments, handling such things EVERY MONTH is definitely commendable.
*need to keep the count right even before fun time (if you know what I mean)

As much as we are evolving to diminish the segregation between men and women, this particular point still finds its way to be a discussion point. It’s a very delicate situation, if women were to consciously put in effort to dress, then it will be siren for their own assault and harassments. Otherwise, they would be labeled dull and boring. Men on the other hand, hardly spends much time on their clothing. As long as it fits and “they feel that they look good in it”, they are all set to go. Its not the case with women, they have to be very conscious were a little more revelation of flesh is subjected to prejudice thoughts.

“Don’t do it like a girl la..”
Often we find that, the strength of women/girls are always underestimated and labeled as the weaker clan. As the reality hits hard, we can now see that women power is pretty dominant and vast contributions can never be neglected. Be it from education to ministry to the vast range of sectors, women are proving themselves breaking apart all the stereotypes. As much as I want to acknowledge that women are equal to men, but the differences between the genders is what making them unique and beautiful. It’s not a competition, rather a complementing process where is no better than the other.

It’s expensive to be a girl.
Trust me when I say this. I have a lot of my friends ranting away about how much it is costly to be a girl. Ranging from the cosmetic items, the health care products, clothes up to inner wears, everything seems to be hiked up for girls. I don’t remember seeing a shop solely leveraging on the sales of men’s inner wear until today. 


As per the conventional thoughts, women who are viewed as the weaker ones, is vulnerable to various security issues. I don’t think girls are fine taking rides home at night after party. It is still unsafe as women are being targeted at large even today. Although, women are taught on self defense techniques and precaution steps, it is important to educate everyone as to respect humans as beings and to be humane, at least.

To the most powerful comrade, Happy Women’s Day!

“You can’t live with or without women!” 

Wednesday, 21 December 2016


Hello everyone.This is quite a personal post, and I know there can be many out there who desperately needs this. This is just my little part of putting up something which can be soothing and comforting for the suffering souls. 


 Your classmate just checked in at a favorite vacation spot, a colleague of yours got a promotion, a batch mate booked her new house, and your peer just landed his new car, and there you are writing a blog. LOL.

This was just a hypothetical analogy and don’t take it too far. 


This is inevitable. This is organic and acceptable, and the Malaysian in me is kicking in to say “Ini Semua Normal la”. As this may seem to be the perfect representation of normalcy, but this can also cause the biggest turmoil in your life provided that you have not understood the concept of WORKING AT YOUR PACE. Being a young adult, you would regularly find it tough to manage as you feel there is a mounting pressure for you to succeed, and to succeed EARLY.  Often you would find a peer and take note what they have achieved at a specific age, and then bully yourself bench marking their success with yours. We scrutinize to match, to be in the race and to feel secured of not falling out. Inspirations are valid and much needed as well but that shouldn’t come off as an excuse to be hard on yourself. 

Day in day out, you are in the constant move to be more productive, picking on yourself for every measured steps. Constantly placing yourself in the rat race, checking on your position of who is ahead and who is behind you. This is merely initiated from your fear of missing out aka “FOMO” as the internet users call it. BUT THE WHOLE POINT IS, ALL THESE THINGS THAT YOU FEEL MATTER, ACTUALLY DOESN’T MATTER AT ALL. The virtual rat race, the racers and their positions - All these, doesn’t matter at all.

As much as you are kind to fellow human beings, it is important for you to be kind to yourself at first. Remember, it’s not the 8 lane running track that is hosting your life. You may be running, but the truth is you are on a treadmill, not in the competition with anyone but with yourself. Everyone is secretly battling in the field that you know the least, so stop nosing in to the businesses of others and pay enough attention to yours. Blinkers. You need blinkers in life. I think it is really crucial for you and me to channel sufficient concentration in our own voyage, clearly defining the needs of ourselves and work towards it. That’s all matters. Disconnect. As much as the social media and every other communication mediums are celebrated for connecting us, it is equally important to disconnect from the noise. The noise that tests your security and hampers your self-confidence. You won’t miss a thing. You would probably lose touch, but hey, that’s the whole process of growing up,right? Who matters will stay, and those who stay are the ones matter.

You have got to understand that you can only work at your pace. It’s okay to get your degree late, it’s okay to purchase your own house past your quarter life, and it’s okay to get married late, it really is. This doesn’t endorse lethargy or laziness. No. Not at all, but that doesn't provide you with the liberty for picking on yourself all the time.All you need is to understand yourself better and work according to your pace for better outcome. You shouldn’t want a full plate, but you would want a plate that is enough.

If this made you feel better, it would be nice for me to hear it from you and if it’s otherwise, pardon me,hope you'll have a great day ahead.